Post by LiveLove1337 on Feb 25, 2013 22:31:54 GMT -5
This is for Lexi, because I owe her one, due to recent events. I hope you like...or cry...or whatever you're supposed to do with angst. XD
“I'm sorry, Dean. There's only so much we can do.”
Dean shuddered, his breathing indistinguishable from his quiet crying. His head hung over his folded hands, as though praying for something in exchange for anything. His brother isn't leaving now. He can't go now. There's more work to do, and women to see, and more roads to-
No. It was never that. It was more than that. Your vision falters when you lose an eye, and your life crashes when you lose both. What happens when you lose a whole brother?
Castiel isn't sure what to do. He can stand and watch, like he used to do, but he can't bear the thought of letting Dean suffer like he already has. It's happened before, Sam's death, but not like this. Never like this. Never alone.
But it happened by itself, without warning and all Dean can wonder is, What did he think of me?
Did he his brother for leaving him? Dean had heard talk about how the mind goes into a state of acceptance before shutting down, but Sam was never one to accept things that bothered him. He'd confront it. Did he reject the acceptance?
Did he die fighting? Did he die fighting himself? Did he die like Dean lived every day?
Cas feels a drop slip from his eye and reaches out to touch it. Sadness. He can only hear the stronger parts of Dean's lamenting, like echoes down a tunnel and it's already made him cry. How does Dean do this? How does he decide to get up? How can he live with-
Cas catches himself a moment before he finishes. 'How can Dean live with himself.' How dare he allow himself to think that.
Sam. That was how he lived. Sam and...maybe him. Maybe Cas, too. But it was always the brothers.
He closes his eyes in an attempt to stop the flow, both of his and Dean's tears.
And, maybe if he's lucky, it'll stop Dean's loathe, too.
“I'm sorry, Dean. There's only so much we can do.”
Dean shuddered, his breathing indistinguishable from his quiet crying. His head hung over his folded hands, as though praying for something in exchange for anything. His brother isn't leaving now. He can't go now. There's more work to do, and women to see, and more roads to-
No. It was never that. It was more than that. Your vision falters when you lose an eye, and your life crashes when you lose both. What happens when you lose a whole brother?
Castiel isn't sure what to do. He can stand and watch, like he used to do, but he can't bear the thought of letting Dean suffer like he already has. It's happened before, Sam's death, but not like this. Never like this. Never alone.
But it happened by itself, without warning and all Dean can wonder is, What did he think of me?
Did he his brother for leaving him? Dean had heard talk about how the mind goes into a state of acceptance before shutting down, but Sam was never one to accept things that bothered him. He'd confront it. Did he reject the acceptance?
Did he die fighting? Did he die fighting himself? Did he die like Dean lived every day?
Cas feels a drop slip from his eye and reaches out to touch it. Sadness. He can only hear the stronger parts of Dean's lamenting, like echoes down a tunnel and it's already made him cry. How does Dean do this? How does he decide to get up? How can he live with-
Cas catches himself a moment before he finishes. 'How can Dean live with himself.' How dare he allow himself to think that.
Sam. That was how he lived. Sam and...maybe him. Maybe Cas, too. But it was always the brothers.
He closes his eyes in an attempt to stop the flow, both of his and Dean's tears.
And, maybe if he's lucky, it'll stop Dean's loathe, too.
Thanks for the writing, sweetie. (you don't really /owe/ me, but I appreciated it anyway!) Wonderful!! Now I shall be smiling like an idiot the whole day. Or crying the whole day due to Destiel feels. Either one. Maybe both.
